


Transformer

by LaSordide



Series: Lonely Highway [2]
Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Domestic, Established Relationship, Gender Issues, M/M, Romance, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-04
Updated: 2012-10-04
Packaged: 2017-11-15 15:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/528751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaSordide/pseuds/LaSordide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sort of a vignette, I guess, that takes place a few months after the events in The Charm of the Highway Strip, but can be read as a standalone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transformer

“It never really occurred to me, honestly,” Eames says, looking at the ceiling. “I’ve never thought of myself as male until fairly recently.”

Arthur’s mouth falls open a little, astonished. He moves from where his head was pillowed on Eames’ t-shirted chest, hikes himself up on one elbow and looks at Eames directly in the face. Eames dares a quick glance at him and snorts.

“Oh my God, the look on your face right now. Have I completely freaked you out?” he says. He rubs one of his meaty hands over his chin in embarrassment. Arthur knows he’s flashing back to that moment by the side of the freeway past Bakersfield that started all this.

“No,” Arthur says quickly. “No, hey, Eames – no.” He puts his hand to the side of Eames’ face, forcing him to make eye contact. “No, it doesn’t freak me out in the slightest. If anything, I think it’s – I think it’s lovely, to be honest. I’d like to hear more, if you wanted to talk about it.”

Eames eyes him warily for a moment, then takes Arthur’s hand from his face and moves it down to his broad chest, rests their hands together there. Arthur can feel his heart beat under his palm. 

Eames doesn’t seem like he’s about to say anything, so Arthur prompts, “I mean, like, in the scheme of things – would you consider yourself trans?” He’s trying so hard to understand right now, so hard to listen. Arthur’s sexuality, his gender, has always felt pretty straightforward to him: male, and gay, no real equivocation ever, nothing complex. He’s always known.

But what Eames is feeling seems to him to be a kind of limbo.

“Not exactly,” Eames says. “I have forging, I can shift into being female anytime I like, yeah? So, for the most part, nowadays, I’m okay with being saddled with this body in reality.”

Saddled, Arthur thinks. This beautiful, ridiculously masculine body he’s got under his hand right now, this body he’s been allowed to know and love over the past three or four months – this body is a cage to Eames. Something he’s apparently learned to tolerate.

“It was harder, when I was younger – having the exterior not match what I felt inside, if you get my meaning.”

“I bet. I bet it was,” Arthur rubs his hand reassuringly over Eames’ chest. “Did you ever – and stop me if I’m not allowed to ask this stuff – did you ever cross-dress or anything?”

“Nah. Not really. Even when I was younger, lighter, I’ve always been sort of thick and stocky, hairy, so – not very femme. I’m not a very convincing girl in real life, I fear,” he shrugs unhappily. Arthur’s watching his face intently. 

“So that’s why you’re the best in the business, isn’t it?”

Eames pulls his hand away, puts both of them behind his head and just looks at Arthur. And Arthur comes to the startling realization that this is the most naked he’s ever seen the man, this guy he’s known for years as a colleague. A guy he’s seen shot and in pain, a guy he’s seen frightened, tipsy, in a dress (ok, if only in dreams), nursing an infant; and more recently, a guy he’s seen with his head thrown back into the pillows during orgasm, or laughing in his sleep. 

“Eames, hey,” Arthur says, tightening his arm around the other man’s chest, “It’s ok. You can tell me this stuff. It doesn’t freak me out. I like it.” He can see Eames’ face relax marginally. “If you ever wanted to, you know – cross dress or even shoot for the surgery or whatever,” Arthur realizes this is the truth as the words are coming out of his mouth, “I would support you, ok? I would still love you,” he whispers.

“Fuck,” Eames whispers as he pulls Arthur into a hug. “Fuck, if I had met you as a kid, or met you ten years ago, even,” he says into Arthur’s hair. Eames shakes his head, rubs Arthur’s back and waits a minute. Arthur knows he’s composing himself, can feel the tension in Eames’ body under his face, hear his heart hammering against his ribs. “If we had met earlier, I wonder what life would look like today?”

“You mean, would I be wrapped around a girl right now?” Arthur asks. Eames nods. Arthur picks his head up again and looks at him. “If it helps – I kind of know I’m wrapped around a girl right now, anyway.”

Eames lets out the breath he’s been holding in a gasp. 

“You are the best, Arthur,” he says, caressing the side of Arthur’s face and looking insanely relieved. “I am so glad to be here with you right now. I am so thankful for every accident of history that has led to this moment, I cannot even express it.”

“It’s ok. I think I know exactly how you feel,” Arthur laughs.


End file.
